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Jack Shade

December 31st, 2010

2010 Was @ 11:46 pm

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Firework by Katy Perry

2010 was a year of firsts for me. I was not an easy year by any means but you have to take the good with the bad, and I've had plenty of both.Though I'd rather focus on the good things. This was the year that I fully immersed myself in the furry fandom and really felt free with my sexuality and I honestly think that I'm better for it.

I attended my first furry convention this year, Anthrocon. Though I've been told that having AC be my first con is like "losing your virginity in a gang rape", but I'm glad I went. I met one of my closest friends in person for the first time there, Singing Penguin, and made a lot of other new friends that I'm very lucky to have gotten to know.

I actually got to travel some this year. I flew to Pittsburgh, PA. My first time ever on an airplane. I took a Odyssey of a road trip with a very interesting wolf, Lupine Silvertail,to MFF. Though the hours were long and the weather less than agreeable, I enjoyed myself. Made new friends at MFF that I hope to see more of this year.

And possibly the most important thing to me this year was meeting so many beautiful and amazing people via Twitter. It's funny I never honestly thought that I could consider people that I haven't even met in person as some of my closest friends and I may even go so far as to say family. But here I am thinking just that. I love you guys, you've made a remarkable difference in my life whether you realize it or not. <3

So this coming year, I hope to attend as many cons as I can and to meet as many of you guys as I can and for those I have met I want to get to know you better.

September 24th, 2010

Love and Relationships @ 01:46 am

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful
Current Music: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

In response to the hating on love:

Let me start by saying that I've never been in a relationship and I maybe considered very naive for having the image of love that I do.

I do believe in true love and in romance. I think there is a someone for everyone and no one is meant to be alone. I think that you should treat a relationship oldschool. (no matter how un-oldschool it may be) There is nothing wrong with wining and dining. Give them gifts, doesn't have to be expensive, just something from the heart. And not just on Valentine's Day and special occasions, everyday you're together should be a special one.

I believe it's the little things that really matter. Like the way your hands fit together or how good it feels to have them in your arms or the feel of their lips on yours. It should be their little quirks that make them endearing to you.

Relationship, to me at least, have always been about loving and supporting each other through every kind of hardship. Riding the tumultuous waves of life together on a boat constructed by your love for each other and reinforced with your affection. Being content to just be with a person even when doing just everyday things.

Like I said, I've never been in a relationship and I'm about as naive as a fox can be, but love is love and it should be the key ingredient in a relationship, not convenience.

September 10th, 2010

Blue Fox is Blue @ 12:28 am

Current Mood: depressed depressed
Current Music: Aftermath by Adam Lambert

Been feeling kinda blue the last few weeks, ever since my co-worker left. She was the only person I could really talk to at work. So much so I had no worries about telling her I'm gay. Since she left things have been a lot worse for me at work. I've lost that kinship there isn't anyone else I connect with enough to talk to them like I did her.

It doesn't help that her manner of departing left me with some serious doubts about our friendship. It's hard finding out that maybe we weren't really friends at all. That, coupled with disdain from certain family members directed at me, makes me feel very lonely and unloved.

It hit me pretty hard today, as my boss seems intent on making me quit. I switched departments to get away from a certain person and now they have been switched to my department and my hours have been severely cut. That's the stuff my boss does when he wants someone to leave but doesn't have a reason to fire them.

Thing is they know I need this job and can't quit, so he is going to make everyday a living hell for me.


August 29th, 2010

Walls @ 03:35 am

Current Mood: hopeful hopeful

My life as of late has been a monotonous one. The same routine work and come home, with the occasional good time thrown in. I really want to change that. To get out more and meet new people.

I have trouble connecting with people, I always have, since I was a kid. I don't know how to talk to people and end up looking pretty stupid when I can't say anything. All the friends I have I've met through a mutual third party. I tend to hold tight to those few friends...but now they all seem to be going off and meeting new people and moving on to bigger better lives, while I've shut myself away on a computer. Meeting people face-to-face is difficult, online it's much easier. I tend to freeze when it comes to talking and I spend all my time being nervous and self-conscious and it just makes it worse when I can't speak.

When you build walls to keep yourself from getting hurt, you effectively create your own prison. I've been locked up too long. I think getting out doing more stuff and meeting new people it would be good for me, it’d help me break out of my shell a bit and open up.

So if anyone is interested in hanging out and doing whatever just message me, but give me at least a weeks notice so I can arrange my schedule at work. =D

Jack Shade